Wednesday, January 14, 2009

A Visit Here


A Visit Here


Its January 14 2009 , so many thoughts go thru my head !
Time for A Visit Here
I am back to writing in my own private journal for now . My thoughts are far too deep to expose to all
I am at the cross hairs once again .. in this game of real life as in the world of second life
When YOU take risks one turns it up a bit more and does put the heat on !!
Thats part of the deal a given You put yourself into and on the fire each and every time with every Risk
To be honest I have made a life of risk taking ..
I have made a point to feel and be thru everyone of them ..
.Ah that brings me to the pain of late as it has been a bit much ..
I am taking a big risk with some very special dear people ..two of them I am trusting with a very deep part
of my own heart
Imagine pure strangers I trust with my own heart
smiles that's the easy part as I have so much heart to give !!
But this is not only put my words heart and being in any world with them
We each are investing so very much and people question this .
Instead it is to be judged and that's alright but what hurt is the slander and negative anger
I knew it would a bumpy ride I knew this we each knew this
I did not know the hurt .. it will be ok .. but I have to make note of it
I have lost so much in my life and one would think one could master pain by now ..
Nope .. it still hurts cause it hurts when YOU care
You see the anger and the assumtions of another hurt
the most when others are trying so hard to do the right thing
in many areas .. in many degrees .. The heat is indeed on ..
Its sort of exciting . It is very intense .. It is alright ..
We can shall and will get thru this
I hope each and all are better people (( gosh including me )) for it all ..
I hope this is not all for not
You see we are putting something very personal and valuable to each of us on the line here
something we each have worked on and live to achieve
Its call character
we each are doing the same here
Be it cash time or thoughts . efforts are being made in so many degrees to help
Three Faceless Friends
Each one fills a full side of the puzzle to make a solid form
We form a bond a Triangle if YOU Please
no its not the Bermuda Triangle
*grins*
but a very strong tight alliance that can not will not nor shall not be broken
for if it is .. we loose one important thing
the most more important thing of all
the Goal we care about the success of it
Two sides and a Leader
The life of it
Integrity Character and Guts
How do you put a price on them
Righteousness Humility and Dignity
Imagine a safe place A place away from all the hurt , all the struggles all the hardships we grin and bare in real life .. For no matter how hard one tries or cares or really really gives ..
There will always be another to heart stab you in back sure ..

But watch out for the ones your thought cared for they will stab right into a your heart because
when one cares that's how it feels trust me I know
My word to myself and my Partners
I will not go cold .I will not be a someone or something I am not ..
I will and shall Hurt .. Sometimes its good to hurt .. to quote a good friend.. A special friend of my heart
"Ride the Pain "
I believe all can endure for No one is really alone on this We are not alone ..
For all have something something special that no one can take away from YOU
ever
No one can ever take away your humanity Your dignity or one's character
The deeper the hurt The richer the reward in character I imagine
I am still trying aye !!
Nahh I am far from perfect if I was perfect heck I wouldn't be hurt now would I ..

Hurt
I hurt myself today

To see if I still feel

I focus on the pain

The only thing that's real

The needle tears a hole

The old familiar sting

Try to kill it all away

But I remember everything

[Chorus:]

What have I become My sweetest friend

Everyone I know goes away In the end

And you could have it all My empire of dirt

I will let you down I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns

Upon my liar's chair Full of broken thoughts

I cannot repair Beneath the stains of time

The feelings disappear You are someone else

I am still right here

[Chorus:]

What have I become My sweetest friend

Everyone I know goes away In the end

And you could have it all My empire of dirt

I will let you down I will make you hurt

If I could start again

A million miles away

I would keep myself

I would find a way

Nine Inch Nails

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